Maybe
by karynperovskite
Summary: "If I had said it earlier, maybe I wouldn't have lost him. I should've known that he'll get tired of waiting for me.  As usual, I didn't realize this until it was too late." One-shot


A/N: Just a random one-shot playing around my mind.

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><p>It was a sunny Sunday morning. Misaki opened her eyes, blinking a couple of times to adjust to the light. She sat up, groaning softly as she did so, for her back ached when she moved. She rubbed her eyes and yawned. She stretched her arms upward. She could taste the familiar morning breath in her mouth. She planted her feet on the cold wooden floor and slowly stood up. She walked over to her desk and sat down. Her head was throbbing a little, but her heart was completely wrung.<p>

Misaki opened her red diary to a blank page. She took a pen and began writing.

"Dear diary,

Maybe if I had not been a coward, I wouldn't be hurting this way. Maybe if I had taken the risk of telling Usui how I feel, then maybe I wouldn't be regretting this way.  
>I hate this feeling! I hate feeling weak and vulnerable!"<p>

Upon writing the last two sentences, Misaki drew a slash through everything else she wrote. Until now, it was hard for her to admit how she felt. It has always been her problem.  
>Misaki closed her eyes tightly and took a deep breath as the events of yesterday rushed back to her.<p>

_She faced the mirror and took a good look at herself. She was wearing a flesh-coloured frill top with a navy blue skirt that brushed just an inch above her knees. Her feet were enclosed in simple black ballet flats, and her hair was let down. She doesn't usually dress like this, but today was an exception. Usui asked her to meet him at the park today so Misaki decided that maybe it was time to tell him. Maybe it was time to admit her feelings.  
>She took a deep breath and left the house.<em>

_The park was quite deserted. There was a man selling balloons there. A couple of children were running around as their parents ran after them. A man was playing fetch with his dog.  
>It was a typical Sunday afternoon.<br>Misaki repeatedly practiced in her head what she was going to say. She would take this opportunity to finally confess. He was leaving for England in a couple of weeks, and she wouldn't be able to bear it if he had left without him knowing how much she loved him. The mere thought of telling him drove Misaki insane, but she knew she had to do it._

_Misaki was almost at their meeting site- their favourite bench- when she spotted Usui sitting with a dark-haired girl. They were laughing like childhood friends. Jealousy forcefully bit Misaki's heart. She felt betrayed and angry. Wasn't I supposed to be the one he's meeting here? Or did he invite me so he can introduce me to...her? Paranoia conjured so many thoughts through Misaki's mind, none of which she found pleasant. Then, she saw him lean towards the girl and kiss her forehead- just like he had done to her before.  
>Misaki turned and ran away before Usui could see her. <em>

"If I had said it earlier, maybe I wouldn't have lost him. I was insane to think that he'd always be there. I should've known that he'll get tired of waiting for me. I shouldn't have made him wait in the first place. As usual, I didn't realize this until it was too late."

A single tear rolled down Misaki's cheek. She instantly wiped it away. It was the first tear she has ever shed for anyone since her father left. She vowed to herself that it should also be the last.

"I can't afford to feel like this. I have more important things to think about. I have more important things to be bothered about. I should just forget this. This was all a mistake."

Misaki closed her diary and set down her pen. She took a deep breath.

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><p>It was already 6 PM- two hours after their meeting time.<p>

"I'm worried." Usui said quietly. Anna didn't see it, but she knew his eyes were filled with sadness. She knew how much he was looking forward to today.

"You were worried since 4:01, Usui." Anna said.

"She wouldn't pick up the phone." A silence ensued.

"Maybe she's busy?"

"So she stood me up." Usui concluded with a sigh.

"I didn't say that." Anna defended, raising her eyebrows. "Why don't you visit her house?"

"I might not be welcome." He sighed again. "I was looking forward to her meeting a sibling of mine that I could actually tolerate."

"If it helps, I was excited to meet her too."

"Let's just go home."

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><p>AN: It just goes to show that we should never assume. It happens a lot.


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